Saturday, May 24, 2008

a short pause

It's funny how even when you have been expecting a bad phone call for a while, it still throws you off completely. I'm not very good at dealing with death in an open and talky manner so while I should be writing how I feel about Grandpa, I just can't.
I'm heading home with Mert tomorrow morning to be with everyone; I just got back here last night, but I had a bit of time to recharge (and I got to go to work this morning and have a thoroughly bad day at work, which makes me less sad about not dealing with it any more) and it's good to feel a little more grounded.

Thursday, May 22, 2008


I haven't been around much lately. That's sort of true, anyway; I've been online obsessively, checking blogs and emails and Facebook and blogs again. It's a truism among internet addicts that when you've hit refresh on news sites more than once in a day, you need to take a break and get some sunshine.
So why haven't I been writing? Well, honestly, life sucks when you are stressed. I've blogged through exams and all sorts of school stress, but the nailbiting and sweating over whether or not I'll get a job in my field was a whole different ball game. Life turned into waking up, checking everything online, having lunch (often up on campus with Sean, a picnic on the grass), coming home, checking everything again, planning supper, getting groceries for supper, and checking everything again when I got back. I dreamed about job interviews. Every time the gmail indicator blinked that I had a new email, my heart skipped. I couldn't talk about anything else. Nothing happened - we are, of course, still short on money, so a lot of my plans (sewing, painting the bathroom) are on hold because of material cost. It was like suspended animation.
Then last week things started happening, fast. I went in to school to help Sue and David set up the new lab (it's HUGE and pretty awesome compared to the old cramped labs) on Thursday and Friday, and slammed my hand in the locked door of David's car. So Friday afternoon was very much hospitals and ice and ibuprofen, but at least my finger isn't broken or even badly bruised, just numb from a pinched nerve somewhere.
Also around then, Grandpa went into the hospital with an infection in his foot. His condition had, by Saturday, gotten poor enough that we changed around travel plans and instead of going home on Wednesday, I went home Sunday quite early in the morning, with Gail and Mert. He won't be coming home from the hospital. I don't really know how to write about it, so I won't. Right now he's alright and Mom is with him a lot, as is Gail.
On Tuesday, I finally heard from Grant that he won't be hiring me this summer - not enough jobs to go around, apparently. He was the last person to get back to me.
Ah ha, I thought, at least I have the Crafts Council; I like the festivals, and now I'm comfortable with the job and I know the ropes, finally. I felt badly about leaving them, as Shasta is gone too, and Amy was less closely concerned with the festivals. And so I sent off an email to Kate confirming that I was ready to commit to the council for the summer, and got a reply today - the grant fell through, thanks to large budget cuts to the grant program (apparently I am not alone; almost half of the student summer grants were turned down). So I am almost completely without a job. Kate is going to do what she can, and they will bring me back for as long as they can within their own budget, but it won't be the whole summer.
I'm at a loss. There are lots of good things about this situation - I'm graduating next week regardless, and Sean is doing well at a job he likes and can support us both at, in a pinch, and there are myriad ways this can still work out. For now, though, I just don't even know how to deal with the turmoil in my life and the grief in my family. I'm going back to Fredericton tomorrow, ostensibly to work on Saturday morning, but also just to hug my cats and Sean and try to figure out what to do.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

and see all the people

1. Everyone in Fredericton is outdoors today - on bikes, with dogs, toting children and cameras, in boats. CBC says that this is upsetting the emergency people because it's dangerous, but mostly people are just taking a lot of pictures and staying back from the water.
I went out for a walk about this morning and noticed that City Hall has a parking pond complete with toll booth (this is half a block from my front door):

I ran into Shasta, who told me that the Crowne Plaza has been evacuated, and that her house was getting blocked in by water coming up through the grates. We went to Officer's Square and I took some pictures:

Notice all the kids? School is canceled today.
Later, on my way to the office, I took another quick snap from a distance, but it's well worth it:

Across the street, Bejewel is sandbagged and closed, as well as most of the rest of the businesses on the street:

Water is seeping up between the Crowne Plaza and the Beaverbrook Art Gallery (both closed):

The walking bridge is full of people, and the water is shockingly close to the bridge:

The dumbest intersection in Fredericton (four streets meeting at odd angles) is completely inaccessible:

As I carried on up to work, I noticed a few other streets were getting water up through the grates, but when I got all the way up to Charlotte Street (four streets in from the river), I called Shasta to let her know that she should probably move her car, because her house is on this intersection (note the happy child on the scooter):

And finally, as I arrived home, I noticed the stores below me are all without power. I'm going to post this in case ours is about to go too. Hooray natural disasters!

2. Almost forgot - I passed both Greek and Latin, so I'm officially done my degree!