Tuesday, June 24, 2008

venting

I'm having a little difficulty feeling motivated about this job business right now. After yesterday's meeting in the afternoon and call center experience in the evening, it feels dishonest. I have this possible job hanging there, suspended, and I'm all over the place on it - I could have no chance at all, or it may be in the bag, I have no idea.
When I went to the CIBC information session last night, I realized that I could probably do it pretty happily if it weren't for this other job distracting me, and the distinct impression that it is probably too good a job to take for six weeks and then blow off because I have another offer. They pay for eleven weeks of training - they expect you to be there for the long haul. I realize that it's a call center and so I should have as little problem with ditching them as I would telling a fast food manager that I am looking for long-term employment flipping burgers, but really, it just feels flat out wrong. If I didn't have a degree, it would be a godsend of an opportunity, and even though I do, it would be a reasonable way to spend two years while Sean finishes his degree. It's not like I think I'm too good for it - I think it's probably too good to turn my nose up at.
So I don't know what to do. Obviously the winning strategy here is to pursue everything with vigour and take the best bidder, but it makes me queasy.
It's the same with another person I am supposed to call to have a meeting with - can I really look him in the eye and then ditch him in a month if I have a better offer? What does it say about me that I can?
I wish I could take a time out, but it seems as though the time for taking a time out has passed. I can't leave the city because I've told Kate I will work Thursday and Friday to fill in for Roseline, and I can't drag my feet on things just because I really want to get this job without wasting anyone else's time and coming off as a presumptuous brat. And I really do need a job soon, or at least a solid promise of one - this is driving me bats. It is seriously bad news when I, of all people, start losing my appetite, and I'm beginning to drive Sean nuts with my boredom and worrying.
Time to make some phone calls, I suppose.

5 Comments:

Blogger dp said...

ahhhh, I totally understand your dilema. wish I could fix it. Love that at least your blogging though, so it gives you a different avenue to vent, other than poor Sean!

8:35 PM  
Blogger Sandra said...

Hey Steph,
If it would reduce your immediate stress to take a job, any job right now, then do it. If, after one month, two months, whatever, the dream job comes along, no one would question your decision to move. Rather than feel guilty, you should feel empowered. You are not hopping from one job to another on a whim. A job you really want is out there and you are going to constructively use your time while you wait and when it comes, you will be ready to grab it. No guilt allowed.

8:59 PM  
Blogger GailM. said...

I have had several jobs and it was always hard to leave the comfort and stability of one job for the excitement and newness of another. I can honestly say, that I don't regret any career decisions I've made because I've made them based on the direction that I wanted to go. I've grown and learned from each job that I've had. I think you have experienced a growth too, in the recent jobs you have had.. so go-ahead and take on a job even though it might not be the dream job.. because you will take something from it with you that will benefit your entire career.

7:08 AM  
Anonymous Jill said...

When I left KCA after 5 years for Kingston, I was in tears telling the principal. He proceeded to tell me that if I were to die tomorrow, he'd have a replacement. He understood that I had to move on. I have never forgotten that statement- he was so right. You have to do what is best for you, right now. No guilt.

oh, and "Amen" to what Sandra said!

11:44 AM  
Anonymous Scott said...

Ya I'd have to agree with Sandra. Take a job, and then if a better one comes along - one that you really want and will do good for you - go for the better job! Lots of people do it. Sometimes you just gotta look out for numero uno!

Hopefully what you want will come its way.

1:52 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home