Saturday, April 19, 2008

s-s-s-saturday night

I remember being a teenager and spending a surprising number of Saturday nights at home listening to the radio. I'm sure it bothered me to some degree, but a lot of nice people told me while I was growing up that high school doesn't last forever and university would be different, and it was very true. I still tell young people that as much as I can, because unless I'm talking to the wrong people, high school is at least a little awful for pretty much everyone. Certainly most of the people I know either had a terrible time in high school or were very, very different people then. I'm not so different, and I didn't have a really awful time, but I got past things a lot by swearing things would be different.
And boy were things ever different when I got to school. Unfortunately a lot of people were the same at first, but now? I mean, really, would anyone who has seen me grow up believe that I could go on a pub crawl with a bunch of people from school and just have a good time? You find your niche, you learn some things, and high school seems so... forgettable.
I find myself thinking about that now that I'm getting ready to move on to being a real person with a career (I hope). I keep thinking I'll miss a lot of things about university, but I'll still have my friends and Sean and everything that has gotten me to this point. I can't think of it so much as the whole caterpillar-butterfly thing so much as butterfly hanging out in a lilac bush for a bit instead of a dandelion patch.
And I'm probably thinking about it because I'm home alone on a Saturday night. Ellis was supposed to come by to study, but she managed to get her day off tomorrow so we're going to do that instead. Sean has gone out to a party with Megan, and I'm supposed to be working on that one last paper. I'm almost angry at it enough to bang through it and get it done just to not. think. about. it. anymore.
I suppose that's the difference. I'm at home alone procrastinating about homework not because I'm a loser and no one wants me to come out, but because I turned down invites in order to be responsible and boring.
My god, I'm getting old.


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